If you think you're fat, you probably are - don't ask us.
Learn to work the toilet seat, if it's up, put it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present once again.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. It can't be altered so just leave it be.
Shopping is not a sport.
Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
Anything you wear is fine. Really.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes